Right now I am listening to music.... I can't go to sleep, so I just figured why not start a blog! I think this can be a place where I can share my thoughts.... sort of like my diary/journal:) So here starts the beginning....where it all began.
 
 So I have always been the shy girl girl. I wouldn't consider myself an outcast though. I have a somewhat normal life... Well I had a normal life. When I was in the 3rd grade my parents had split (and still today they are working out divorce stuff) and that would  probably have been the worst year of my life. I would be missing from school for days because my parents were "trying to figure things out." But I try not to remember those days.

  I am more outgoing than I would have ever thought. I used to think that I'd just be a lonor and not talk to anyone. But I have friends that accept who I am, they taught me to just be myself no matter what. Sure I'm weird and crazy but I'm happy:) But out of all my friends there is that one person, the most special to me, the person I can do anything with, say I love her, get in fights with her and know that I won't  loose her. I can call her anything I want to, cookie( since my nickname is cupcake she is cookie) bitch ( cause she is mine:P ), and anything else I want to....But instead she goes by the name of Faith:D

  To me, friendship is pretty much the greatest of them all...all exept for one.... Love<3
Love is a passionate and affectionate feeling for another (somewhat of a dictionary definition) I love everyone (well a lot of pple)  My friends and family:) But that is just a friendly love, like for example I love my mom. That is because, well, u know, she's is my mom. But that is a different love than being in love. I've always thought of love as being a fairy tale. Falling hopelessly in love with someone and them falling for you too...so it would end up being perfect. But I know that it really doesn't end up that way.... But I'm a dreamer so I will keep on believing it, because I know that someday I will run into the love of my life and to me, it will be perfect:)

So I guess since we are on the topic of love I should share my story about...my crush(not exactly love) so one day on ig I posted a pic saying ig prom was coming up and that people should start asking other people. Well this kid Parker asked me and was like " I have a gf but she doesn't have an IG and I'm bored so do u wanna go with me?" And I'm like sure. (This was like 3 weeks ago btw) so he was like yay and gave me his#. We started texting for a few days and then out of the blue he asked me who I liked, and I'm all like I'm not telling you. So we had a tiny argument, and then he said if u tell me I tell u. So I told him that I liked this other kid Nick and then that I also liked him, and he's like I like u too.

 So for the past few weeks we have been texting nonstop. I can talk to him about anything, he is sweet and very understanding:) He keeps calling me sexy, hot, gorgeous and other stuff. He makes my heart beat so fast it feels as tho I can't breathe... But it sucks so bad that he has a gf, and he loves her a lot. So every time he gets all lovey-dovey with me

it keeps reminding me that he has a gf...he says he wants to date me later in the future. but what if he might not want to after a while;( sometimes I just don't know if I can talk to him..... because I think I'm falling in love with him. I know in shouldn't but I just can't help it.  I've never even thought about being in love with someone, even when I did have 2 bf's. But he has had countless gf' s and is somewhat a flirt. He says he likes me a lot but idk...;/